.
How come we must face so many emotions?
Why must so many of them be negative?

DISAPPOINTMENT!
A huge word with a huger impact....

I'm really disappointed in 3 people; I guess I'm kind of hurt by them :(
2 are other people...
and the last, is me......

If anyone out there has a job vacency for pathetic people, I'd probably be the first person they'd look for...

Why am I so weak?
So fragile?
So vulnerable?
So....terrible?

I can't cope with my work, I just lost one of my best friends in school for a completely unknown reason...probably cos of the cherlyn-helen teasing, my teachers are saying stuff about me that are not really pleasant; me eng teacher says I have no potential in Lit, my Chinese teacher says my Chinese isn't good enough, my bio teacher rejected my proposal for project (if I don't manageto convince the whole department to let me do the project, I have to start from scratch again), and my physics teacher says I lack confidence...maybe that's true...but I can't really help it right? I want to place at least 50% of my time for church, but my eng teacher (also the teacher in charge of IP totally opposes that, and thinks that nothing else is more inportant than school and how good my English is)...and I feel kind of miserable in school nowadays... Can't wait to get out of that environment every day... feel trapped and unhappy...

And I think the same thing every day....
Where are my friends?
Why can't I spend more time with them?
Why must they all live in the east?

And most of all...
Aren't I supposed to be trusting God every day?
Why am I relying on my own emotions to get through each day?
What's wrong with me?
How long more must this test from God last?


Why is it so hard to be a Christian?