When life gets tough...I find it hard to say "Praise the Lord!" or give thanks for whatever circumstances i'm facing. Most of the time, i'm even embarrassed to ell anyone about how I feel or what i've been through. It's so much easier to hide everything to myself...

Then God tells me to share my life with others. How does He tell me? I don't know exactly. It's just suddenly knowing what God wants from me after having a personal relationship with Him for so long. And trust me. Sometimes, I don't like knowing what God wants from me. Like the following lyrics, it's just so hard to follow what He wants...


But it goes against the way I am, to put my human nature down
And let the Spirit take control of all I do;
'Cause when those trials come, my human nature shouts the thing to do,
And God's soft prompting can be easily ignored.

What should I do?
I don't know. I know I'm weak...but I wish I had enough strength to at least make my friends happy, if I can't make myself happy...
oh well, I guess I might firgure out one day...I can only wait patiently...